July 16, 2011 – Day of Romance

            Guys, please don’t be scared by this title or the first ¾ of this post… I think you would still benefit to read it the whole thing. If not, I’ll give you the cheat sheet and let you know I acknowledge and address guys at the end.

            Today I woke up and knew I needed some serious R&R with God to get my head back straight. In 2 Corinthians it says, “’My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” I told my mom today that I am going to pursue everything that makes me know how much God loves and romances me, but also how much I love and WANT to be Christ’s. Why not try my hardest to seek after and find all the places where He makes me feel strong when/while I am weak?? After all, Christ said his power works BEST in our weakness.

            That being said, I told my mom I would go on a walk, go climbing, sit, stare at the sky, cook, eat, nap, groom the horses, go for a ride by myself, and anything else I could think of or find. I got dressed to go ride, couldn’t find the horses in their small paddock, so I got my Bible, journal, and Jesus Calling when I remembered I hadn’t read my quiet time today. I was going to sit on the front porch but decided I had much better and more beautiful and romantic places to do my quiet time. I came out to h rocks over the dam, sat, and marveled at the land’s beauty for a minute. I asked the Lord if he could lead the horses further down into their paddock to the right of me because I would love this picture that much more. When it didn’t happen, I read my Jesus Calling and the chapters from which the verses came, then skimmed around to read more like I usually do. Psalm 45 and 147 caught my eye, and once I finished thinking about and enjoying and smiling from them, the horses instantly ran through this field to my right and I caught them before they stopped because of the sound of their hooves beating on the ground.

            Psalm 147 is a perfect portrayal of the land here in Zimbabwe (besides the snow), so I just praised the Lord for being so present. The most obviously romantic of the 2 chapters was Psalm 45. It is very rightfully deemed a love song, and here are some of the verses:

            “Listen to me, O royal daughter; take heart to what I say. Forget your people and your family far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. The princess of Tyre will shower you with gifts. The wealthy will beg your favor. The bride, a princess, looks glorious in her golden down. In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids. What a joyful and enthusiastic procession as they enter the king’s palace!” - Psalm 45: 10-15

            Taking time to sit and imagine my own personal wedding with Christ, Son of God, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Comforter, my Best Friend, my King… talk about romantic! Sheesh!! There are several accounts in the Bible where we are referred to as the bride of Christ, and in Revelations is says, “’For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.’ For the find linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people. And the angel said to me: ‘Write this: Blessed are those invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.’ And he added, ‘These are true words that come from God..’” – Rev. 19:7-9

If Christ is the King of all kings and Lord of all lords, then that would make us His Queens one day when He returns, truly making us His Princesses in preparation here on earth! Yowza, that’s cool. Perfect white linen, escorted in to God’s Palace in heaven, accompanied by the very godly women, my bridesmaids, that have stood beside me and encouraged and shaped me into the prepared woman I will be that day, given away to the most perfect man to ever walk on earth that I have sought to live my life for, Christ, as my husband and King, delighted at the sight and knowledge of the beauty of me, His Queen. Perfection.

Women: Dream about this day. Spend time basking in the grace and honor that flows from this future day. Rejoice for the godly women that you know have already been united with Christ in heaven. Feel and KNOW that you are already clothed in the finest, most pure white linen even as you are living as a princess in preparation here on earth. Christ died and rose again so that he could come to life again victorious over sin and death so that He could look upon us as pure, saved, and blameless until we can unite and rule with him in heaven one day. Live in that freedom and grace and in that pure love. My prayer is that you would think to this future day and always know that you are precious, valuable, and extravagantly beautiful in the eyes of your royal husband, and that you would feel overwhelmed with the weight, purity, and value of that love. And if you haven’t already noticed from His night skies, the power in a thunder storm, sound of a mighty waterfall, peaceful serenade from birds in a quiet place, sight of horses running freely through a field, the sight of your handsome man after working hard and feeling strong and proud, or anything that makes your heart skip a beat . . .God has QUITE an eye of beauty. And he sees YOU as delightfully beautiful. Your beauty is woven into your very being as a piece of the heart of God and the beauty He cherishes and wants unleashed. Your breath-taking beauty is a declaration OF His glory and to be used as a vessel FOR His glory. I challenge you to live a life honoring Him for that gift, for He is your Lord.

Men: .If you’re single, seek after a woman who actively, avidly, and whole-heartedly (not perfectly) seeks after her King and first love, Christ, and a life that is honorable to Him. Pursue the woman that sets your heart on fire to become more of a man in the eyes of Christ, not in the eyes of the world. God knows how to romance you, too, guys, so don’t be tempted to seek after lesser beauties than the gold He may have right in front of you. If you’re taken or want to remain single, then praise the Lord when you find women like this, because you know they are first focused on making His Kingdom come. How encouraging! I challenge you to live a life boldly in strength, action, and courage led and inspired by your fantastically unique and wild heart, deeply rooted in the Word of God, for His glory. Live a life in appreciation and inspiration of womanly beauty while pursuing a life and role God has designed specifically for your individual masculine heart. We need you, men, even if you aren’t our own. Stay strong and keep your standards resting in the heavens.

5 Day Recap (July 11-July 15)

July 11, 2011

We drove in to town today to run some errands and stay at Pierre and Rentia’s for the night. Norma and I got to watch this horse trainer work with a majestic thoroughbred for about an hour this afternoon and it was fantastic. I figured out what I can do with the 4 free days a week I will have once I’m a nurse first year.. take horse lessons! As long as I can afford it and there is a location relatively near, I’m so in. I want to own my own horse too badly.

            Mason and I were able to use an internet café for about an hour while Norma sorted something out with her car. I was filled with joy and strength after reading a short, sweet little email from my boyfriend’s dad. I really was just so humbled by his message and encouragement. It must have been a day of great emails, because I also read one from my mother that just had me in smiles and tears and laughs of joy the whole way through in the middle of this café. People had to have thought I was crazy. Emotional American, that’s for sure. My mo mis a beautiful woman and the Lord is teaching her so much. I love seeing her child-like passion and joy and conscience. She is precious and I miss her very very much. Please keep taking great care of her, Jess! Be her love.

            When we got back to Pierre and Rentia’s, Mason and I were having a blast with music and jokes at the kitchen table. It fairly quickly turned in to name calling and fist fighting down the hall. I’m glad we could be honest about how we REALLY feel about eachother, haha. I’ve really been missing my brothers and the fun and fights we have, so I was very thankful for God filling in those gaps with that time with Mason. I loved every minute of it. I also got to chat with Conner on facebook for the first time since Johannesburg!!! That by far made my night.

July 12, 2011

Boring and long day in town running errands. Finally got back to the Matopos.

July 13, 2011 – Clinic Day #2

            Now for this beautiful day – Chris and Mason dropped me off at the clinic to help out again and today they were much nicer to me. I worked only in the screening room today and it was much less busy than last Wednesday. At tea, they tried to teach me some Ndebele but I have already forgotten all of it besides “Ilanga i chisa,” which means “the sun is hot.”

            In the screening room there were lots of mothers with babies (one woman was 64 years old!!!), a man with terrible acid reflux and cancer, and one woman with sore and swollen eyes. The man hadn’t eaten anything other than mealy meal pourage for 7 months because of an issue in his throat. He lifted his sleeve to show me how skinny he was and explained how difficult it is to walk because his bones have weakened immensely without having any nutrients. He could barely walk because he falls over so much and so easily from not having strength. It broke my heart. I helped the nurse to find out that the lady with sore eyes is probably allergic to smoke, and there were a few other small things the nurses asked my advice on and I had to try my best not to be careless or dumb.

July 14, 2011 – People’s Presence

            Today, Ruth and Brad (a British couple living in Bulawayo) and their friend Ben came out to the farm to spend the afternoon. We went on a walk and climbed rocks and traveled through brush and sat an talked about Bear Grylls and his absurd lifestyle on his show. It was good and fun to have fellowship like that and just enjoy the “togetherness presence” of the people around me. The land here at Morning star is spectacular.

July 15, 2011 – Clinic Day #3

            Chris and Norma left for Bulwayo today, so now Mason and I are lonely and bored. Norma gave me some little chores to work on, like wrapping the soaps she made in recycled paper so she can sell them and cleaning up the boys dorm for the 5 guests coming on Sunday. Mason and I will take this weekend to relax, recharge, and get ready to go all out these last 3 weeks.

            Once they left, Mason and I set up the solar panels and left for our days. He dropped me off at the clinic again because it is the only place, besides out by myself in the landscape, that inspires me and gets my mind and heart flowing. I can’t wait to be a nurse.

            I was there from 10:30-1:10. The nurses in the screening room switched 2 times today. The male nurse made me a little more hopeful because he was giving out different prescriptions and diagnoses . . . I don’t necessarily know if that is hopeful, though. Each day I go in, the conditions I see keep getting worse and worse. Today there was a baby with yellowy-white arms and hands from either jaundice or low circulation from the cold weather, and a penis that either looked cut off or inverted. I had never seen anything like that on a baby boy… I had also never thought about how good these nurses are or aren’t at circumcising them when they are born. There was a 22 year old guy who had previous complaints of discharge from his penis and now needed medicine for a urinary tract infection. A friend of ours brought in her son and he had an itchy rash all over his body and ulcers the size of a silver dollar on both of his legs. We also diagnosed “Early Stages of Pregnancy” for a 24 year old girl who was complaining of vomiting and headache for the last 3 weeks. I kind of found that funny. The last patient we saw was a 21 year old girl with dried blood all over her nose and swollen eyes. At a closer look, she had nasal and optic sores and ulcers that had been bleeding and pussing and making her face almost immobile due to the pain. After talking with her a little bit, we discovered that she was already being treated for HIV/AIDS so they were likely opportunistic infections from a weakened immune system. I had never seen that personally. My heart is now broken so much more for HIV/AIDS sufferers.

            Mason picked me up, we had an interesting few exchanges with some police officers about a flag, saw some Zebras, and came back to cook some dinner. Pumba slept with me last night so I missed my personal hot water bottle, Boomer, at home. I miss you puppy!! Momma, you better tell him I said I love him.

6 Day Update

July 10, 2011

            Today the Lord really showed me the importance and beauty of pursuing a relationship with Christ as opposed to just trying to live a life for him. Like really making it personal. I have found myself craving the Lord’s thoughts instead of always trying to control and monitor my own. . . I hope that makes sense. So that has been really cool starting that journey today. I love devoting specific time for the Lord every day because I always end up blessed and energized. I really hope I stay committed to making this quiet space for myself once I get home and go to school. I have started the “Bible Before Breakfast” routine since I have been here. I will wake up whenever I wake up, sit up, stretch, reach over and take my medicine then grab my Bible and Jesus Calling and maybe even journal, write a verse on my hand each morning, and get dressed and go on my way to the kitchen to get breakfast.

            I sewed my own Bible cover today with a hand-crank Singer sewing machine and it rocks. I get to sew things with Norma’s ladies on Wednesday so it was just a little refresher course. We will work on aprons and headbands and rugs I think.

            It drizzled rain almost the whole day, continued stronger during the night, and it sounded BEAUTIFUL on the roods of these huts and the sides of the walls. Rain is wonderful at night when you are inside – not when it is winter and you are outside. We delivered fabrics to a lady names Emily not too far from Morning Star and she was just such a joy! She was Ndebele and that was all she could speak and from the first moment she spoke to me, Diamond told me she was trying to teach me Ndebele. She was so very expressive with her face and body and she was such a character to watch and be around, even though I had no clue what she was saying most of the time. When we drove up to her hut, Norma asked Diamond what the rock pile was in front of our car and he said it was Emily’s husband’s grave. That was so so sad.

            I cleaned out a nasty cut on Mason’s thumb last night before bed and it was awesome. I love that stuff.

July 9, 2011 – Wonderful Discovery

            I was feeling totally sluggish today and my muscles were aching to get out and move so I went on a run not really knowing where I was going and about 25 minutes in to the run I ended up of the bottom of the Matobo Valley and I was instantly filled with so much energy and need for adventure so I went to the nearest mountain and climbed it, only to see the huge one that I have wanted Mason to hike up with me just one mountain over. I couldn’t resist. I made it down and over to the base of the big one and figured out the safest way to go up and decided to hold out since I was by myself, but I did go up on the smaller mountain just in front of it and when I stood on the top, my heart was overflowing with joy and gratitude and awe at the sky and the land and the air and feeling of being up there looking out. I needed that feeling of fulfillment and sight of such beauty so badly and for the sky to be as magnificent as it was for being such a rainy day, it was a great blessing. Only problem was getting lost on the way back.. I found a creek, found the creek again, got stabbed in thorn bush central all over my legs by the spear grass, found a boy (nickname Louie) who walked me almost all the way back to Morning Star, then watched the end of the Rugby finals. Those guys are HUGE.

July 8, 2011

            Today marks 1 month until Mason and I fly out of Johannesburg to come home. 31 days.

            The horses came back today for breakfast.

            Had a great conversation with Mason this afternoon.

            Finished 1 more book for Chris. 6 more to go.

            Freezing cold weather with some drizzly rain, but DAZZLING sunsets still.

            Great quiet time being completely honest with God and being blessed through my brokenness in return.

            Made muffins.

            Planned next week.

            Struggling with feeling like I am wasting time here – I really want to get back to the clinic and just spend time with the people here, even if it is only for the 3 minutes they are sitting in front of me. I would just love some more interaction because always doing behind-the-scenes work can feel a little unproductive and not influential.

July 7, 2011

            Today I felt sick all day long. It stunk. But, I as able to sit in on Norma’s sewing group today and I am so excited to get to help those ladies next Wednesday at their next gathering. I loved sitting and listening to them talk and interact and work on what they do best and trying to make a living for themselves and their families. It was lovely.

            Also, the horses escaped out of the paddock last night and Diamond and Mason were out in the truck looking for them for an hour and a half while Norma and I went on a walk to follow their tracks and see which direction they might have headed in. We also walked the paddock to see where they escaped and tied the fence back up with some rope. Silly horses. Tawny is to blame EASILY.

            Norma told me the schedule for the next few weeks and it is going to be jam-packed starting next week. Whoo! Mason and I are going to hold down the fort at the farm while Chris and Norma go and meet up with and bring back a couple coming in to town next weekend so we’re trying to figure out what we can occupy ourselves with for 3 days… probably explore all the rocks and mountains around and make jello for every meal.

July 6, 2011 – Clinic Day #1

            So today I got to help out in the med clinic near by any way I could for the first time. Patson biked me up the street from Matopo Primary to the clinic and introduced me to the nurses. There were 4 girls and 1 male and only 2 of the girls talked to me. The first female nurse that I shadowed was named Lindiwe, so thank you Father for the precious reminder of sweet Lindiwe in Mpeni from my first trip to Africa. God rest her precious soul. Opening my journal and always seeing her letter she wrote me on top made this evening’s journal entry even more special.

            I would love to be able to tell you about what went on in the clinic, but I just don’t think it would be wise for me to publicly write about it for security and governmental reasons. I don’t want to stir up any drama so please forgive me for that. It was quite an experience. But basically, I was able to do a lot of paper work and copy down lots of information to help the nurses out and they showed me around their facility. I really hope to go back there soon because I felt so at home in the medical world even though it nowhere even compared to American system. I can’t wait to be a nurse. I am so thankful for my experience and exposure.

July 5, 2011 – Mad Props

            Today was my first day in the schools and we went to Dobi. Mr. Nguenya led his environmental workshop with some teachers and I read the 3 books I had completed vocab cards and comprehension for. I worked with Grade 2 for 2.5 hours and MAN it was tiring. They were not very responsive at all and they did not act like it. They were not very responsive at all they did not know very much English. Or atleast they did not act like it. I tried to make up some games and interactive things I could get the kids to do and they LOVED that. I had them kicking their legs around and yelling “Yippie!” and jumping and everything and it all went along with the words I was teaching them. It was great.

            The Grade 7 group was much more responsive and active but I tried to help this one boy who did not know ANYTHING it seemed like. I just felt so much compassion for him because he was so quiet and had no idea what was going on and everyone was laughing at him and could understand almost everything I was saying. It was so sad. I could never be a fair teacher – I would always be so partial to the children that struggle. Teaching is tiring and requires energy and confidence and creativity, and ALL of those traits were immediately challenged in me.

confidence and creativity, and ALL of those traits were immediately challenged in me.

            Mason and I went up on Polar Bear tonight and star gazed and it was seriously majestic. God is the best decorator ever – shout out to sweet Miss Rachel Gregory.

8 Day Recap

July 4, 2011 – American Independence Day!!

            We’re about to eat our Fourth of July meal with Mason, Norma, Chris, Gordon, Angela, myself, Bianca, and the environmentalist guy (I don’t know how to spell his name). We have QUITE a table full of food. I seriously have been so blessed and so spoiled with a full meal every meal here – thank you, Father! We have some filet, hamburgers, sweet potato fries, sweet corn casserole, peas and carrots, spicy roasted potatoes, and jello. Unbelievable. Go America! I think they are making Mason and I sing the national anthem so that’ll be interesting.

            Tomorrow I finally get to go in to the schools and read with and teach the kids some English!! I am ecstatic. I have been working on these picture vocab cards and comprehension questions for these little storybooks for ages from pre-school to 6^th grade I’d say. While Chris and the environmentalist are doing their workshop at Dobi school, I will walk in to classes, ask to borrow the children, take them to a tree outside, sit, read, and teach. How wonderful!! I am excited to see what sort of passion the Lord sparks in my heart after tomorrow, because this summer sure has been FULL of the teaching theme. There was Heather who did a teacher’s workshop on literacy here at Morning Star, Chris wanting me to work on these books and cards to read and teach the children, a teachers group coming in from Atlanta serving around here for a little under 2 weeks, and who knows what else will come up. I have definitely gained a new appreciation and I am interested to see just how far that goes. Sorry it has been so long since I have posted on the blog!

July 3, 2011

- Today I finished picture vocab cards for a second book and chose next next 2 books I will try and complete tomorrow. 2 down, 7 to go.

- We planned our 4th of July meal and so far it is hamburgers, 2 or 3 flank steaks, my sweet potatoe fries, green beans, maybe mashed potatoes, and Norma's DELICIOUS orange jello with vanilla yogurt. We are also running a 10K up to Dennis and Sandy's and back to represent the infamous Peachtree Road Race. Oh, and everyone has to wear red, white, and blue and best they can. I wish we had fireworks! Happy 4th of July from Zimbabwe!!!

- I ran again today and this time I did MUCH better. I made it all the way down to the first creek (roughly 2.5 miles I think), then walked for 10 mins and ran the last (roughly) 2 miles back to Morning Star. Woohoo!!

- Nkosi helped us plan our return to S.A. where we could potentially save lots of dollars, so let's hope that works out! Lord, I pray for big things in these next 31 days, and I pray that I see extravagant blessings every single day.

- We're supposed to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to watch the sunrise with Nkosi tomorrow morning but I don't think that's going to actually happen.

- Unfortunately, Nkosi goes back to Bulawayo tomorrow, but Chris is picking up an environmentalist from Harare on the way back to the farm! He will be doing a workshop in the schools to help them conserve what they have on Tuesday and Wednesday.

July 2, 2011

- First day of running and it was rough

- Relaxing day with Nkosi, Mason and Heather just talking and sitting in the sun. Everyone needed to recharge before our big weeks this week. I was even able to fit in an hour and a half nap. Unbelievable.

- The newly installed solar geyser started working today so now everyone can have hot showers and Chris and Norma's water bill will be much less!

- Rode Tawny and Tallulah this morning and Tawny was FEISTY.

- Watched the Rugby game during dinner. New Zealand (Crusaders) beat S.A. (Stormers)

- Had a powerful conversation with Heather (one of the missionaries with us right now) about not living captive to my fears. She said we are only told to fear one thing and that is God. And we fear Him with trembling knees at His feet because HE is so righteous and pure and holy. She told me to do a fear study and just say, "Ok God, I have 5 weeks left at this place where I am isolated with You. I want you to heal these things in me and fill these fears with Your love." And to do something symbolic of leaving my fears behind me here and never going back to them. I feel challenged now.

- Listened to Nkosi tell us about the adversities YL faces here in Zim and we have a powerful time of prayer for him after dinner. Mason and I also learned a lot about the Ndebele culture.... simply fascinating.

July 1, 2011

- Went Dossie hunting but failed

- Found a chicken fetus in my cracked egg when I was making a cake

- Started my notecards wth comprehensio questions and vocab for the primary schools to use when we come and read to them

- Ate burritos for dinner

- Dreams about home that made me miss home a LOT

June 30, 2011 - Relaxation           

            Today I woke up not feeling well at all. I slept through my alarm by an hour and when I did wake up I had no appetite at all. I just sat there with my morning pills in hand and didn’t move at all for about 30 minutes and didn’t even realize it. I finally pushed myself to take my pills, read my Jesus Calling, and get dressed. When I went outside I saw Chris and he asked me about my symptoms and said a prayer for me. It was such a sweet prayer and exactly what I needed to hear. I told him I just needed to move, so he let Mason and I take his and Norma’s bike out for a ride. We meant to only go about 4 miles, but we ended up going 12K and it felt SO good to just have my blood flowing and really breathing the air.

When we got back, there wasn’t much to do. We took advantage of it because this next week is going to be busy and active. We read, talked, laughed, sat in the sun on Chris’s porch, prayed, and had some meditation time. It was so healthy and revitalizing for our minds and hearts. Chris also decided that he would start calling me “Fred” from now on because it is easier for him to remember and he won’t keep mixing my name up with Heather’s. He is now referred to as “Georgey.”

I am kind of glad that I am not fighting this whole womanly side of me coming out like I once would, because I think it shows a certain malleability I have right now with transformation and accepting the real me – the God-designed me. I am also thankful because it is bringing out a more gentle, servant-minded me that I don’t feel in touch with nearly often enough. My prayer is that the Lord would teach me how being a strong woman (from the inside out) can and should be used for the best work for His Kingdom. You made me, Father. Please help me take advantage of this freedom and little distraction to get in touch with the raw me and have YOU piece me back together little by little. I am yours.

At dinner, Heather and John told me about 3 medical missions agencies to look in to so that makes me really hopeful. Heather also said something very interesting. She said that in prayer for their decision on locations for missions, she had to make sure they made the decision inside God’s will rather than out of their own passions. Meaning, someone who just loves Africa can say, “Africa, here I come!!” so willingly, but that does not mean it is God’s will for them to be in Africa. Oh, we do that all the time, don’t we? Please show me where I stand. I praise you for this day.

June 29, 2011 – Bulawayo, Airport, Workshop

            Yesterday Norma, Mason and I went in to town to run errands and stock up on food. We had to restock our food for the orphan feedings and that took us to a scary part of downtown. Mason and Norma went in a while as I waited in the car to make sure no one tried to break in. We also went to a stock feed place where Norma bought horse feed. We went to Dennis’ and he got the internet to work on my computer so that was fantastic! We also got ice cream on our way out of town and it was alright. You could really taste their cream. Before the ice cream, we went out to Air Zimbabwe airport to collect my bag and Mason was taken back with my bag and asked many questions and I’m sure he did MUCH better than I ever would have. Thank you, Mason.

            Today was the first day of Heather Witherow’s literacy workshop with the teachers in the general area and it has been really humbling and neat to listen to how smart her thinking, speaking, and analyzing is in terms of teaching methods. There is no doubt that having 2 almost autistic sons has not helped her and blessed her abilities in some way. Praise the Lord. One of her 3 boys loves Andy Stanley and he gets up on some of the rocks and just recites his sermons word-for-word and it is just a hoot! Heather and her husband John are really net people with a real passion for following the Lord step.by.step. I’ve learned a lot just observing and listening to them. How cool. Missionaries from Oregon now living in South Africa.

            A few nights ago I ate guavas for the first time in my life and they were SPECTACULAR. Especially with vanilla yogurt. I seriously have a new obsession. And today I also made pudding for cake icing and mayonnaise for coleslaw for the teacher’s workshop. I hate mayonnaise so that was interesting to have to taste test . . . YUCKIE. I have to say, though, that I have really enjoyed being with the women and doing what these women do and just letting the boys be men.

June 28, 2011

            Today I learned that I no longer want to live to please everyone’s emotions because those always change. They are temporary and typically unpredictable. I want to live as a vessel worthy of helping the Lord move people’s hearts, because You are eternal. My biggest roadblock right now is pride and unforgiveness, so if you could please be praying for those to be broken down in me and replaced with humility and grace, I would greatly appreciate it. I want to stop living for myself and my own comfort and instead live as a declaration of the beauty of Your Son’s death. I pray for this land and for these people that You would mend it back together with Your right hand, and You would frustrate the plans of the wicked. And also prayers that Mason and I can learn how to be peacemakers with one another and become better and better supports and encouragements for one another.

            Thank you for reuniting me with my bag today and thank you that Mason left the interrogation at customs safely. Please sustain my body without my one prescription – You made my body so please help me with the upkeep J

June 27, 2011 – Step In Trust

“ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” – Psalm 143:8

“‘What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I promised you.’ . . .Then Jacob made this vow: ‘If God will indeed be with me and protect me on this journey, and if he will provide me with food and clothing, and if I return safely to my father’s home, then the Lord will certainly be my God. And this memorial pillar I have set up will become a place for worshipping God, and I will present to God a tenth of everything he gives me.’” – Genesis 28:15. 20-22

Mason and I just had a conversation about our personal schedules the last 3 days. He has been very busy at work with the guys and doing a fantastic, whole-hearted job all 3 days. Whereas, I have been able to go for a ride each morning, help cook and clean dishes a little bit, set up the solar panels so batteries can be charged, and work on some behind-the-scenes tasks for the teachers workshop tomorrow. Even though my schedule is different to my plan and Mason’s is exactly as planned, I am thankful for the help I could provide these past few days and I trust that all other plans will play out exactly as needed.

When I came in and read Jesus Calling I felt even more comforted because I do believe that as long as you are looking to Him in every moment, contemplating things of heaven and serving Him, then the Lord honors that and every moment will be fulfilled and full of life and joy. To me, there is no greater feeling than serving my heavenly Father with a humble heart. Then when I read the verses (my favorite part), I was even MORE excited for what the Lord has in store for me here! Coming on this trip I had a general idea of how I wanted to serve these people, but I knew everything was subject to change considering my location. So in a sense, I’m not really disappointed at all at the way these past 3 days have gone because I have been able to enjoy and experience the type of home life I have always wanted to live. I have been able to see how I react in different situations, my own level of humility, honesty, and selflessness amidst a new setting and environment, and what sort of things do and don’t grab my attention or reach out to my heart. So where I may not be personally serving Zimbabweans in the community yet, I have been learning extremely important things about myself that I must be in touch with and working on if I choose to live a life of missions and service under the name of Christ. I am now, as the verse says, trusting the Lord and looking to Him with each step of each day, trusting and knowing that I am covered in His grace and love.

And I just love the second verse because I would love to know that God promises to bring me back to Africa!! And He most certainly has provided me with more and better food than I prepared for, enough clothes to keep me warm until I can reunite with my own, Morning Star is SUCH a place of worship and service, and I feel the same way that He is protecting me each day. I have no fears or no doubts about my safety here. Love you, Lord!

June 26, 2011 – Hopping Off Horses

    So today I fell off a horse and I have a big cut on my stomach to prove it. It looks lovely. I went out for a ride with Norma to work the second 2 of her 4 horses (she had already worked them a bit in the ring) and I had the delight of riding atop Banner. Banner is an older horse who is quite a manipulative little boy and at the beginning of our ride he decided to give me a go to test my limits. Right after we got out of the gate, he took an immediate right (instead of straight forward on the path) into a dense section of dead brush and thorn trees and I managed to dodge the majority and turn him back on to the path. As soon as he was facing the right direction, he took the lead once more into the same patch of brush hoping for a more successful round of “stick the rider.” This time he won. He took me straight into a dead thorn prickly tree thing. I knew I was going down so I let go of the reigns, grabbed on to the big branches in front of me, squealed, and lowered myself to the ground once I lifted off of the saddle. You really have no idea how much I wish I had the fall on camera – it was absolutely hilarious. After that, I realized that boys must be boys and as long as they are, they will always mess with girls. But what Banner quickly realized was that even though boys can fight, girls can always fight back harder and longer. It was a joyous ride after I forcefully became a literal tree hugger. It’s only 11:00 a.m. here, so I still have a full day ahead of me (including making nametags for a group coming in on Wednesday), but that was a fantastic start.

    After the episode with the horse, Norma and I came back and tried to transfer my David Platt podcasts from my computer to hers via an external hard drive but it epically failed. We tried and tried for probably and hour and nothing worked.. Neither of our external HDs worked! But that’s alright because I just found out tonight that she has a flash drive and those don’t configure to specific programs like Mac or PC so we’ll try that tomorrow. Once that failed, Mason, Dennis and I tried to configure Norma’s internet modem to our computers but the same thing happened. Her modem is configured for a PC and not a Mac. Ugh. Mason and I climbed Polar Bear just to get the best service on the farm and it still failed. So if I can get the flash drive to work tomorrow and you see my blog actually updated, then you will know that it worked!!! I really hope so because I would love for ya’ll to see some pictures and have these updates. It’s actually really fun keeping up with the trip like I have. Let’s hope I feel the same way after day 20 instead of day 2.
    Last night Norma put me in charge of making icing for a cake she made and it turned out looking more like an ice skating rink on top of the cake instead of normal white, creamy cake icing, but it was definitely just as delicious. Tonight she put me in charge of the crepes and they turned out DEICIOUS! I also asked Mason to help me make my homemade whipped cream recipe and he did a really great job for not having an electric eggbeater! It was a wonderful dessert and everyone loved them. Go me! I’m learning how to cook! Simple and easy stuff, but cooking nonetheless. After dinner we laughed and talked all about different accents and road rage. Tomorrow we are making nametags and Mason is chillin’ with Chris and hopefully starting on the cement basketball court Chris and Norma are making as a community center for the primary school kids in Mtopo. The nametags are for a group of 28 local teachers coming from Wednesday to Thursday afternoon to go through some English comprehension workshops to better teach the children. I am excited to help Norma prepare for that, but even more excited to listen in and help the teachers out while they are here. The Lord really is doing some great and creative things here to equip people to more effectively help others. And it is really cool to see how involved and proactive Chris and Norma are to do the best they know how to do. I am really excited to see all I can get involved in and/or bring back to the states once this summer is over.
    P.S. Africans know how to creatively reuse leftovers better than I have ever experienced before . . . Mom, I am trying to watch and learn because we have been SERIOUSLY missing out by just sticking ours in the fridge.
    P.S.S. Mom, I really need your flank steak recipe please because we have already started planning our double day Fourth of July celebration. So far, the plan consists of a bar-be-que, a mock Peachtree Road Race, an American style breakfast (scrambled cheese eggs, biscuits, and I forgot what else), and red, white, and blue attire are required for both days (as well as your resources provide) – from the underwear out. Mom, please e-mail it to me because Chris REALLLLY wants me to make it. Thank you love you!!

June 25, 2011 – Day 1 on the Farm

    Happy year and 3 months, Conner Blair!!! (By the way, I told everyone you said hey and you missed him or her!! Nkosi especially :) I got your back.)
    At the grace and generosity of Mason, I now have a pair of white basketball shorts to sport around with my socks, chacos, blue t-shirt and grey jacket instead of the long black prairie skirt here on the farm in the middle of winter.  4 days down in the same outfit, only 3 more to go! Norma can’t go back in to Bulawayo to pick up my bag until Tuesday evening . . . TIA.
    Today is my first outdoor quiet time and it is glorious. I find it difficult to stay focused enough to finish writing. I climbed onto the rocks, saw Norma’s horses in the next field over, hopped the fence to love on the horses, climbed back on to the rocks, sat and gazed. I can’t stop gazing. The clear and cloudless blue sky is mysterious and captivating, the boulders are everywhere, the valley consumes my periphery, the dam is straight ahead of me, and the breeze and heat of the sun is so refreshing. The Lord is so alive in this day. “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24
    When I came back in from the rocks, Mason, Chris, and 3 neighbors and friends of Chris and Norma were building a solar geyser so the girls’ showers, the guest showers, and Chris and Norma’s personal shower can have hot water without having to start a fire under their water tanks! Whoo! I was so worried about freezing cold showers in winter weather again. I am so thankful. Hip hip hooray!!
    We ate lunch and the YL leaders reconvened for one last meeting and now they are preparing to leave and go back to Bulawayo and go to school, go to work, and love on people in the city. I was sooo so glad to be with them and to see Patson and his wife Cindy this morning!

June 24, 2011 – The (Grace) Gospel

    Today was an eventful 24 hours. We were staying at the house our friend Pieter rents a room at in Johannesburg and it was our first night in an African bed. I didn’t have to wake up until 10 a.m. but out of Mason’s boredom, he decided to wake me up at 8:30 a.m. to join him in watching golf on TV. I got my 3 essential books out – my Bible, my journal, and my Jesus Calling – to do a quiet time. After I read a little bit, Mason left to shower and the mom of the house, Sylvia, came out of her room and started talking with me. We got in to the conversation of our ministries – meaning, how the Lord has us best and specially serving people. She started to tell me how her artist friend taught her to paint tablecloths when she and her husband were in need of money and how her success with that let to prayer for ministry. She felt the Lord was telling her to take the method and materials she learned with to make tablecloths to the women in one of Johannesburg’s poorest communities. To help the women start a business, she will bring enough supplies for 60 women to make 1 tablecloth, 6 wine glass markers, and 6 napkin holders. They are allowed to keep 1/3 of the profit, use the next 1/3 to buy a new package of materials for themselves, and use the last 1/3 to bring a new woman and teach her to make the same materials. How creative and how wonderful!! Please be praying for her ministry.
    She drove Mason and I to the Johannesburg airport and dropped us off 3 hours before our flight was scheduled to leave. In the car, she started giving us advice for life and the very first thing she said was, “Do not trust anyone.” She proceeded to tell us crazy stories of God’s protection and grace in their family’s lives in the face of physical attacks and concluded her advice with this: “If you truly understand the reality and concept of God’s grace, then you will never overstep your boundaries because once you understand that grace, everything you do will be done in joy and thanksgiving.” I thought about this and realized how truthful that wisdom was. I constantly find myself pushing boundaries, crossing boundaries, and intentionally not creating boundaries in all aspects of my life. When I catch myself doing that I always blame the power of my selfish and sinful nature and I usually get stuck in a state of disappointment and shame. And because of her comment, I now see that shame as another way for Satan to hold my heart captive.
What I think she was saying is that once you truly feel and know and understand God’s grace that was given to us through His Son’s death, then we will have such a deep respect, honor, and love for Christ and the value of His sacrifice that we won’t even want to overstep His boundaries. When we have that humility from understanding the magnitude of God’s grace for us, then all we should really want to do is to do EVERYTHING for His Glory and His honor to try and return that gift – and that is where the joyful living comes from. That every moment feeling of thanksgiving and humility overflowing from our hearts in a spirit of joy because of the deep, deep love we hold for Christ in our hearts. So where me blaming my selfish, sinful nature and motivations is not incorrect, I must now remember to always come back to the cross in every moment, decision, conversation, etc. – even when I mess up – because that is where we were covered in grace and that is where we learn to truly glorify the Lord. What a beautiful transaction!!
Paul talked a lot about preserving the mystery of the Gospel (especially in Galatians), and
to me, that mystery is the fact that Christ came to give us FREEDOM. “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die.” – Galatians 2:20-21. We cannot truly live without being covered in God’s grace and living in praise of that, because rules, regulations, and sinful nature would hold us captive and under shame if Satan had his way. Remember Christ died to set us FREE from all of those things and more. I challenge you to LIVE under the grace of God – I know He is challenging me to do the same.
    “When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power and work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:14-21.

    Now back to the trip – Mason and I flew in to Bulawayo via the unreliable Air Zimbabwe and received a visa and passed through customs with NO problems! That is almost unheard of for foreigners. Norma picked us up and we helped her go grocery shopping in town. It was an interesting experience and an interesting environment. We are SO spoiled with our American grocery stores. We picked up Chris’ brother and picked his grapefruit tree to make juice and headed on our way to Morning Starr. Now, to all my Chi Omegas – we almost hit a GIANT owl in the middle of the road on the drive to the farm and no one could understand how excited I was at the sight of it! Hootie hoo! The sun had already set, but before everything went completely dark, the sun left a midnight blue color painted on top of the horizon with stars scattered all above in the dark black. As the blue added and back took over, more and more stars started to appear – what an artistic and romantic God we love and serve! It was a magnificent welcome home. Nkosi, Godfrey, Montana, Lloyd, Sharon, Pierre, Rentia, Quinton, Pumba, Footie, and Chris were all waiting for us and it was a glorious reunion. We ate at the fire, stayed up and talked, then went to sleep. Talk about living for the Gospel to be spread, these YL guys really know how to do it. They LIVE and WAIT for even just one more conversation or question or opportunity to discuss or display the beauty of the Gospel. I really want to learn from them – I am so sad they are going back to Bulawayo tomorrow!

June 23, 2011 – Johannesburg Flight

God, I know I can never doubt whether or not your timing is perfect because it always is and always will be. And there is no doubt that you honor those that seek you and honor you. So I want to thank you for that and being the faithful God you are and blessing my time in your Word directed in today’s Jesus Calling. How cool is it that the chapter (Ephesians 4) with the verse that is the title to my blog is one of the directed readings. Thank you for that reminder and the faith challenges that come along with that chapter.
We are to live in the light so we can be a light, and I pray that you can lift Mason and I up as we seek you through this trip so that we may be able to salt the earth and be placed on a hillside to light up a city, god, and maybe even a nation. Zimbabwe desperately needs you. I pray how David consistently did in Psalms that you would please frustrate the plans of the wicked and ultimately save their souls. God, protect the people of Zimbabwe and be their support. I pray that Mason and I could just be encouragers for that. “I will praise you forever, O God, for what you have done. I will trust in your good name in the presence of your faithful people.” - Psalm 59:2. You have led our hearts to these people and to this trip, and ultimately, we have followed you. We have not been perfect, but we have been persistent.
    Forgive me for what I feel a lack of preparation mentally, spiritually, and emotionally specifically for this trip, but thank you mightily for the time I had with Conner, contemplating and experiencing our relationship. Please use all that I have learned and felt during those 5 weeks with him to bring glory to Your name here. Please let me be clay in the Potter’s hands and mold my thinking, feeling, living, etc., in any which way you please so that I may bring more glory to Your Name. And I pray that even in the moments, weeks, or months where my flesh is trying to battle Your will, that I could bring You glory in the form of communication, questions, patience, and then my humility. Blessed be Your Name.
    I pray that Deuteronomy 31:6 would be forever on my heart and I can remember it and call it out to expel all fear that leads me to doubt You or cling to my own human forms of safety and security. I pray that trust and boldness in You and with Your Name would couple together to change someone’s heart and open their eyes to the power, love, grace, and freedom given access to us through the cross. Your Son’s death is a sacred thing, and I pray that I would live a life that honors His sacrifice. And as Ephesians 4:1 says, “…lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.” And Ephesians 4:30 says, “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” Let me honor my Father and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in my heart in everything I do so that I may help His Kingdom come by glorifying things of heaven and not of earth.
    Lord, you know my fears and you know my heart. You see my bitterness, jealousy, unforgiveness, selfishness, insecurities, ugly words, actions and thoughts, and You have chosen to look over them and instead look at the heart YOU first created for me. I pray that You would reveal more of it to me and I would continue to learn how to use it as a greater reflection of Your own heart You have placed in ME. Help me have persistence to try and live by and with that heart, covered in Your grace and glory, not the heart covered in fleshy motives and sin. You can overcome ANY human weakness.
    “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6.
    Love, Me

3/4 of the way there.

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that I am in Johannesburg and at Pieter's house. We just got back from a great burger restaurant called Dros. Their hamburger buns are gigantic and their pickles taste funny, but a cow still tastes like a cow over here. I'm exhausted but Mason and Pieter won't let me fall asleep yet because it is only 8 p.m. over here. It hasn't even been 24 hours since I left the U.S. and I am already dying and feeling like I've been here and been traveling for a few days now. I miss home and everyone so much already.

Delta didn't get my bag on the plane, so now I won't have my hiking pack until Monday. Mason and I are going to still fly in to Bulawayo tomorrow as planned, but we will just have to stay there at Pierre's house until the Bulawayo airport receives my bag and then Chris will come pick us up and take us to the farm! Thankfully I have just enough medicine until Tuesday night so that is relieving, and I have travel sized soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. The fun in the situation is that I am stuck in this floor length black skirt, chacos or toms, a white tank top and a thin blue tshirt, and a fleece until Monday. Go Africa!

Once I get to the farm, then I will be helping Norma make mosaic cabinet things for women in the villages. I love arts and crafts, I love Norma, and I love African women, so I am stoked.

An opportunity arose where I might be able to get a real cheap flight to Cape Town at the end of our trip to possibly stay with my friend Emily and visit my friend from school, but also just to see how beautiful it is since I have come this far already. I would stay for 2 nights I think and still fly back with Mason from Joburg to Atl on our scheduled departure date. I would hike Table Mountain, maybe see Robin Island, go wine tasting, visit friends, and see stunning scenery!! We're also gunna go see a Rugby match in Pretoria on August 6th! Ballin'. We'll see.. I have a long time to decide on plans.

Just wanted to give you an update!! Love you all!

Finally Here

So the departure date is finally here. I have 30 mins until I have to leave for the airport, and roughly 3 hours until my flight is scheduled to leave. IT is seriously surreal that I am actually leaving. I was talking to my mom over lunch today and told her how I was thinking about the last 5 weeks at home and how that isn't even HALF of my summer. I have the incredible gift and blessing to spend it IN ZIMBABWE! How cool. I am so excited and so nervous and so confused all at the same time. I don't quite know how to process all of this, but I do know that God has it all under control. My family, friends, and boyfriend at home, my future best friends and international family in Africa, any unexpected circumstances Mason and I may find ourselves in, and the list goes on. I can wonder and worry about them all day long, but as Matthew 6 says, worrying cannot add a single hour to our lives. The preparation for, departure to, and perseverance through this trip are all giant leaps of faith for me and my relationship with the Lord. I am learning to trust Him and His sovereignty over any other worldly security I may try and cling on to, and it is great. Pray for a NONdelayed flight because it just started pouring, but also pray for a safe one. HERE WE GO!!

Christ Alone.

I just did my quiet time this morning and I wrote it completely in obedience to what I felt the Lord has been putting on my heart. I have been constantly thinking about how I don't even know the way Christ loves. I have felt like I do not even know who he is and how he saves me day-by-day. As I patiently and quietly waited on the Lord this morning, I just started to write. I wrote a letter to our God about His Son.

Lord,

As Your daughter, Your Son's sister and model of his Bride (the church), I am to seek Christ's face in ALL that I do and say so that I can be the best representation of YOUR creation that I can possibly be. Christ is my perfect role model, my perfect leader, and my perfect friend sent to this earth to dwell in flesh and follow Your Word and die on the cross so that he and I both can personally and intentionally invest in each other's hearts and lives. His confident trust in You and the life in Your Word gives me security in His ability to lead me and reveal YOU to others wherever He is and wherever I follow. All of his joy, his advice, his words, and his thoughts are meditations and imitations of Your own.

His gentle pushes and challenges on my heart let me know that He wants me to stay focused on the purpose and the glory of His cross, but He keeps in mind my human frailty. His grace and forgiveness let me know that I am ALWAYS welcome in his heart and in his life that You have planned for us. It affirms my beauty and confirms how much he really desires me to be one with him as he leads me along the path of your will. He constantly extends to me the lessons You are teaching and have taught him so that I, too, can learn from his transparency and rejoice in the life You give to the world through Your Son.

His fruitful life and spirit of joy truly fills my heart with strength as we laugh and smile and sing in Your Presence together. He delights in my desire to praise You because he KNOWS that "you inspire shouts of joy." (Psalm 65:8) If I let go of his hand and fall away from the cross, he quickly tries to lift me up again and place me on your wings like eagles to remember that nothing I cling to on earth is greater than You alone. His patience gives me comfort and rest and it encourages growth and humility. 

His love gives me rest. I am secure in his love and his love alone, because his love if Your Own. Your love is unfailing, God.

Let my life forever be a model of Psalm 63. "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to YOU; your strong right hand holds me securely." Psalm 63:1-8

Lord I pray that I would seek your Son's face in every moment of my days. I pray that I would find my life, my hope, victory, honor, security, and salvation in You alone. I pray that Christ would always be my example and my leader and that I will always be obedient to how He is shaping my heart to be more like our Father's. We are told in Your Word that a man is to represent the body of Christ sacrificing His body and all that He is to serve You and love Your people, Your church; and as the woman, I am to represent the church, His Bride, and shower His every step with praise as He walks perfectly in line with Your will and Your Word. I pray that I would encourage that same determination and selflessness from all men of the Lord as I seek to live as the most humble, strong, joyful and servant-minded woman I can be. And PLEASE, Lord, let me model Your grace and Your forgiveness and encouragement when we fall short. Keep my eyes on You. I never want to look away. 

Sincerely Loved, 

Hannah Leigh Hatterick - Your lamb, Your beloved, Your daughter,  and Your prize.

I pray that I am able to reflect Your beautiful Son while I am still in the earthly body of one of Your chosen daughters. I pray that each day, here in America and there in Africa, that I would live, truly LIVE as a declaration of Your redemption and Your glory dwelling in and working out of the hearts of your brilliant creations - human beings.

Provision

There have been crazy amounts of provision in regards to my mission trip this summer.


First, I am in a class here at Samford on Sunday nights called Perspectives on the Global Christian Movement. It is a 15 week class that looks in depth at the biblical, cultural and historical perspective of global missions and you get to hear from a different speaker every week and read from multiple authors during the week so you can start getting in to that mindset of "there is not only ONE way.. My/our way." What I have learned about the whole point of global missions is the fact that God is a missionary God and every people group out int he world has something different to offer in worship and praise to the Lord that may or may not be different from the gifts He has given us here in America or in our hometowns. Missions is NOT about conversion.. it is simply about figuring out how to face each people group toward the Kingdom of God by showing them Christ, and letting God change and move in their hearts. Learning that makes me want to die to self and be humbled os much more because it helps me see how we are all truly created to worship HIM and bring glory to HIS name - including myself. So learning to let the Lord move and create in me the heart of His that He wants me to image forth has been such a great experience. I have never been so excited and felt so blessed by any form of education than this class I am taking at Samford.


Next, as I was working on a paper for English one day, a funny phrase I had heard in Sunday school came to mind. The idea of going out and reaping "Kingdom equity." I decided to google the term to see what people think about that idea and either the top or second link on the page was a page on a Christian conference called the "Kingdom Equity Conference." I was curious and saw that their last conference took place last March and the topics of discussion were all centered on ministry to widows. As I started to look for contact information so that I could possibly get ahlold of some of their products/supplies/etc., I saw a "205" area code... THAT'S HERE IN BIRMINGHAM!! I contacted the conference sponsors immediately and talked with a precious young lady named Melanie. She told me all about their ministry and what they do and why and it resonated so deeply in my heart because of how much I care for the women and widows in Zimbabwe. The more we kept talking, she told me about their main author and speaker who actually travels to Africa 4 times a year to work on widow's ministries and now I am in contact with her! These two ladies are helping to educate and mentor me through this process and planning for Africa this summer. I am so so thankful.


Now along the lines of mentoring - last Perspectives class there was a lady that spoke briefly on her ministry and the organization she works for in Atlanta and I find out that her job is to actually help mobilize college students who feel led to the missions field. I talked to her after class and we swapped information an I met with her and her teammate the next day after class to start our relationships. I told them about my trip this summer and the types of relationships I have with people here at school and at home and what I feel I need more help/guidance/education on, and how I can start planning now. They told me that the biggest thing I can do right now is to work on making disciples here in Birmingham before I even try to take it out into the world around me. To capitalize on the opportunities here and learn how to make disciples so I am not just trying to figure it out all at once when I arrive in Zim. As part of that goal, they encouraged me to start a prayer or Bible study group as a way of support and helping to transform the minds of others to think and pray more globally, too. To sort of combine those two, I will have my first meeting with 2 of my closest girl friends here in Birmingham tomorrow to just sit and pray with and for one another while also going through the Bible Study, "Discipleship Essentials." I am so so excited for the strength and courage and support that will come from meeting and praying with those girls. So now each time that I meet with one or both of my mentors, we pray and they hold me accountable for the goals I set for myself and my heart and faith and walk and preparation. It will be such a blessing.


Also, I recently talked to the lady I will be staying with this summer and she told me about a medical and educational clinic I can volunteer at this summer while in Zim. It is a tiny bit over a 3 mile walk from where I'll be staying, but I will be allowed to assist them in any way they need, even if it just teaching girls or boys basic skills. I can help the missionaries there to teach the Bible, assist medically, love on and invest in whoever comes through, and help tutor or teach or anything they need. I told Norma how badly I wanted exposure to medical missions and and she immediately told me about this clinic. As part of their ministry, they have actually started a boarding house for boys and they educate and train them consistently! 


I hope this gave you some insight about the ways the Lord is leading me to prepare my heart and my mind for this trip this summer! So sorry it has been so long since an update. Praise the Lord for provision!!!! He is truly all we need.

Follow The Leader

There was a point in my life, not terribly long ago, when I thought that I was invincible. Almost everything that I desired was attainable through my own personal efforts, money, performance, beauty, etc. I saw neither the full need for self-discipline nor the true definition of self-respect. I practiced neither and I don't really know if I listened when they were taught to me. I did everything on my own and for myself.

Well I have now reached a point in my life where the standard of my desires rest in much higher places. I crave things like being able to handle an angry person with more grace than I did the last encounter. I crave being able to sit in my dorm room with hours worth of homework and quiet time and being able to accomplish it all with time to spare. I have desires to be a kind, encouraging, understanding and enthusiastic wife that will always provide her husband with comfort and support filled with God's grace and beauty. I crave being able to KNOW exactly what God wants me to do while I'm in Africa so that I can be more comfortable explaining my trip when people ask. I crave being able to love myself and love others the way the Lord truly intended: The way that He loves us every day. I want every person, both here AND in third world countries, to know that they are worth my time and investment each and every single day, because when I am willing to listen, the Lord tells me the same thing each moment. I crave being able to exercise on a regular basis and maintain a healthy diet so that I can glorify the Lord with EVERYthing I do... including what is done for myself.

I really believe that these are all GOOD and HEALTHY desires that the Lord has put on my heart, but that is just the thing. HE has put them on my heart. They are not petty materials or pleasures of this world that I have set out to possess. These are all deep longings I cannot wait to fulfill that God has placed on this sensitive, compassionate, joyful, womanly heart of His. If He placed them there then the only way they can be fulfilled is if I search for Him and He blesses me with the desires of my heart in return!

On a side note, my boyfriend is participating in the Corps of Cadets while studying at Virginia Tech right now and all of the stories and rules he tells me about his freshman year so far just make me cringe because he has to deal with SO. MUCH. STRUCTURE. You have to do everything a certain way and if it's wrong then you have to walk in circles or something with a gun rested on your shoulder for hours and you can't talk to your buddies while your walking or even look around. Talk about miserable. I try to tell him pretty often how impressed I am with him, but my compliments and support are not and have never been the reason he keeps pushing through. He shows perseverance, discipline, and self-control because he, too, feels a calling and he knows that no matter what, he is willing to do whatever it takes, be taught whatever he needs, and learn from as many mistakes as he makes until he reaches that moment when he discovers if he is assigned pilot.

It says everywhere in Proverbs that the road to wisdom and discernment first starts with fear of the Lord. I think that once you truly fear the Lord and realize the sovereignty of His will, that same dedicated, willing, teachable and perseverant heart that my boyfriend has about the Navy will be given to you in all areas of your life. With those characteristics, I believe that you are able to make stronger choices, be trusted more, have a more peaceful heart, but most importantly, you can GROW. Like I mean, grow. Grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, in health, everything. We thrive when we surrender to Him because we are allowing Him to resume ownership of our hearts and our lives again. How can we not be a brighter light for the Lord  with Him supplying our life compared to when we try and do it ourselves.. HIS light and creativity and strength and eye for beauty and passion are what saturate and created all the earth, not our own.

The Lord has really been trying to teach me to just watch and learn from Him in every day moments to see how He would like for me to handle each situation. Doing that has given me more strength to tackle menial tasks, like cleaning my room, and courage to face the big ones, like rebuilding bridges in broken relationships,  because I am fully confident that I am trusting in the guidance of the perfect Leader. This whole blog to say, I have been really struggling with the anxiety of not feeling prepared for Africa this summer. I do not feel spiritually or educationally or emotionally equipped to go and give my whole summer to the people and women in Zimbabwe. I am but a mere mortal, but the beauty of my story is how I was intricately and perfectly crafted by the hands of the Lord and creator of all the earth. I look and marvel at His beautiful creation in nature and in other people all the time and forget how much He marvels at me. He is faithful and as I continue to listen more and more to Him, He has been "leading me by still waters" and truly "restoring my soul" with His wisdom and comfort. He has given me an AMAZING opportunity to hear a different missionary come speak on different aspects of missions each Sunday night for 3 hours this semester, He has been showing me outlet by outlet of was to save money for the trip, and He has surrounded me with the most captivating and supportive people I could have ever hoped for in my life to encourage me every step of the way leading up to my trip.

As my beautiful, dear friend named Allye reminded me today:
     "If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
    "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:30-34 (The Message)

Welcome All!!

Over the years I have always kept a prayer journal to just converse back and forth with the Lord. I have used it, and continue to use it, to physically unload my burdens, sort through problems, sing praises, and tell my stories at the foot of the cross. For the past 3 or 4 years I have secretly wanted to write a book, but what I would write about I have no clue. Writing public letters intimidates me, but I'm pretty excited because I have a feeling that this blog will become my little snippet of an autobiography... even if I make a fool out of myself.

I primarily started this blog to document any experiences, spiritual growth, etc. for my financial and prayer supporters as I prepare for and go on my missions trip I am taking this summer to serve the women and widows in Mtopo Hills, Zimbabwe. Regardless, it is open for anyone to read.

As I said earlier, I do feel a little nervous and vulnerable writing to people that may have never known my heart the way they will after following these, but to make sure that I am writing unashamed and not holding back anything I feel lead to write, my promise to you and to myself is to pretend like I am writing to my very best friend. I want these blogs to be written from a heart that is unashamed, eager to learn and be transformed, and filled with joy and anticipation from witnessing and waiting on God's perfect timing and blessings.

I hope these are exciting to read and possibly bring insight into your own life!! I can't wait to get these started!!!!!