Hebrews 12:1-4

I am no biblical scholar or hold any authority over scriptural study, but when I read God's Word I have a desire to be so. I want to understand the historical context, the present day applications, and the future implications of what is so eloquently written in such a grand book of truth and hope. I was particularly captivated by Paul's word choice in Hebrews 12:1-4 this afternoon so I decided to grab my dictionary and dive deeper to better grasp the weight of his words in this passage. I will type out the NLT then re-type it with the definitions of particular words marked in quotations.

Original:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."

Inserted definitions:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us 'move at a speed faster than a walk, never having both or all the feet on the ground at the same time' with 'the fact, power, and capacity to last or withstand wear and tear' the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the 'person who has defeated or surpassed all rivals in a competition and fights for a cause or on behalf of someone else; historically - a knight who fought in a single combat on behalf of the monarch' who 'admits someone into an obscure society or group who possess and share not easily understood knowledge' and 'makes completely free from fault or defects' our 'complete trust or confidence in someone or something'. Because of the joy awaiting him, he 'suffered patiently' the cross, 'ignoring' its 'dishonor'. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's 'elevated and ceremonial chair for a sovereign figure used to signify sovereign power'. Think of all the 'opposition' he 'suffered patiently' from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."

Reading the original challenged and strengthened me plenty, but re-reading it with the inserted definitions of key words brought the passage to life even more so. I originally sat down to do some Bible study to focus on the character of Jesus to them dream about the type of man I want to marry some day. Reading this scripture helped me see the type of man I want to marry, but also the type of wife I need to be and what our relationship will look like.

Jesus is a man who calls us to His power of endurance through the "wear and tear."
Jesus is a man who draws our gaze and our attention to Him and none other.
Jesus is a man who invites us into His walk of faith and obscure knowledge and insight of the gospel.
Jesus is a man who fights and works on our behalf in order to strengthen and perfect our complete trust in God Almighty.
Jesus is a man who disregarded, or in other words, ignored, the ultimate dishonoring brought forth by sinful people because he knew that his treasure and joy soon awaited him in heaven. He knew that this symbol of dishonor was orchestrated by his heavenly Father and existed to bring Him the most glory and Fame. He stayed focused on joy instead of suffering and being shamed by sinners.
Jesus is a man who patiently suffered. He was "slow to lose (his) temper with irritating people or circumstances." He was kind, patient, and considerate even in the midst of suffering. He was seen doing that. He is trusted to do that. He is praised for continuing to do that.
Jesus is a man who is elevated beside the throne of our sovereign King. He is in favor of our God and our Creator and he is beloved and made secure and confident in that love.
Jesus is a man who is secure in the love of God.
Jesus is a man who is worthy of our efforts to strive to possess the same example of character and faithful trust and love for His Only God and King. God is OUR Monarch and King and we are His ambassadors and warriors for His truth and His Word. Daily prepare yourselves for battle with His armor.

All for His Glory,
His Princess and His Bride

Thoughts on 1st and 2nd Commandments

To me, the first two commandments are God's commands largely for loyalty, action, submission, sacrifice, reflection, and humility in how we show our fear of the Lord as our exclusive and sovereign Savior in three relationships: with Him, ourselves, and others.


I think those commandments are vague, for lack of a better word, because our response will be expressed differently from every single human from Adam all the way to the second coming, but no matter what shape or size, God is getting the glory and that's the point. For me, the vagueness is a huge security for how much God loves me because those type of instructions DEMAND a mutual pursuit, effort, and eventually an intimate connection in order to achieve deep understanding (and not just with God, but with yourself and other people as well.. Otherwise He would have left out the second commandment). To me, it is an eternal and steady invitation to the most dumbfounding, awe-inspiring, personal, powerful, intimate, inspirational, humbling, and transformational relationship I could ever have while on earth... And then to be covered in grace enough and personally appointed by name to even ATTEMPT imitation on this earth just takes it to a whole new level. And to know that He has extended and has sent sinners throughout the world to extend that very same invitation to members of EVERY tribe, tongue, and nation to ever walk this earth just makes me laugh with joy at the amount of glory He has received from those walking on earth and how much more He still deserves and will continue to harvest by redeeming sinners. God deserves glory from every detail this earth has ever known because His hands made it all so it makes total sense to me that He will not send Jesus to return until a multiplying body of believers from every variation of His Creation has proclaimed and practiced faith and glorification of His Name. He created it all so He will wait and empower and send out His chosen ones until every people group is represented in Heaven to praise Him in eternity. That is why Jesus even came... So that we could aid in the expansion of His Kingdom at His will to reach that goal - that's why He gave us the Great Commission!! Ah!!! Oh my gosh. "All for His glory." Truly! I love my Hebrew tattoo more every day, I mean it.


I also love how the order is love God, love yourself, love others. God tells us to know and love Him with everything we are capable of. Give it all, He says. And when you're doing that, the first things you should learn about Him are the ramifications of the gospel for humanity. The gospel is a testament and promise of a rescue plan set forth and predicted by God, manifested through Christ's life, public ministry, and death, and established by His resurrection after conquering sin and death by the power of the Holy Spirit fully alive in Him from and unbroken relationship and unstoppable plan with His heavenly Father. This gives us the power of the Holy Spirit, the authority of Jesus Christ and all that rests in the heavens, grace, and forgiveness so that as we learn more about God, we can, in whatever way you are able to bring Him most glory, share and practice as many characteristics of God as He graciously and personally reveals to us with confidence in His intentions for revealing and teaching them to you no matter the worldly consequences. Also, you can and will find levels of intimacy with humans as long as you live, whether deep or shallow, but I believe that marriage is the only place you will ever come closest to experiencing and imitating the intimacy and respect of Christ's relationship with us, the Church, outside of eternity. So instead of primarily trying to seek intimacy and completion in your relationships with people, I challenge you, as your sister in Christ, to surrender out loud and maybe even on paper all expectations and desires you have to find fulfillment through people in this time of stress and loneliness and seek the best and ever present invitation to divine connection. Practice getting to know God again- as your Father, Friend, Romancer, Comforter, Counselor, Savior, Redeemer, Creator, and so many more.


You are made by Him, for Him. Cling to that and claim it. Study and do everything you can to cultivate a love for HIM and who HE is and will always be first, and then He will show you how to love yourself and see yourself the same way He does and then reveal to you how you, (fill in your name), child of sinners and member of a fallen world, are specific to His plan in loving others. Be encouraged. He loves you and so do I. We're on your team.

July 16, 2011 – Day of Romance

            Guys, please don’t be scared by this title or the first ¾ of this post… I think you would still benefit to read it the whole thing. If not, I’ll give you the cheat sheet and let you know I acknowledge and address guys at the end.

            Today I woke up and knew I needed some serious R&R with God to get my head back straight. In 2 Corinthians it says, “’My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” I told my mom today that I am going to pursue everything that makes me know how much God loves and romances me, but also how much I love and WANT to be Christ’s. Why not try my hardest to seek after and find all the places where He makes me feel strong when/while I am weak?? After all, Christ said his power works BEST in our weakness.

            That being said, I told my mom I would go on a walk, go climbing, sit, stare at the sky, cook, eat, nap, groom the horses, go for a ride by myself, and anything else I could think of or find. I got dressed to go ride, couldn’t find the horses in their small paddock, so I got my Bible, journal, and Jesus Calling when I remembered I hadn’t read my quiet time today. I was going to sit on the front porch but decided I had much better and more beautiful and romantic places to do my quiet time. I came out to h rocks over the dam, sat, and marveled at the land’s beauty for a minute. I asked the Lord if he could lead the horses further down into their paddock to the right of me because I would love this picture that much more. When it didn’t happen, I read my Jesus Calling and the chapters from which the verses came, then skimmed around to read more like I usually do. Psalm 45 and 147 caught my eye, and once I finished thinking about and enjoying and smiling from them, the horses instantly ran through this field to my right and I caught them before they stopped because of the sound of their hooves beating on the ground.

            Psalm 147 is a perfect portrayal of the land here in Zimbabwe (besides the snow), so I just praised the Lord for being so present. The most obviously romantic of the 2 chapters was Psalm 45. It is very rightfully deemed a love song, and here are some of the verses:

            “Listen to me, O royal daughter; take heart to what I say. Forget your people and your family far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. The princess of Tyre will shower you with gifts. The wealthy will beg your favor. The bride, a princess, looks glorious in her golden down. In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids. What a joyful and enthusiastic procession as they enter the king’s palace!” - Psalm 45: 10-15

            Taking time to sit and imagine my own personal wedding with Christ, Son of God, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Comforter, my Best Friend, my King… talk about romantic! Sheesh!! There are several accounts in the Bible where we are referred to as the bride of Christ, and in Revelations is says, “’For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.’ For the find linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people. And the angel said to me: ‘Write this: Blessed are those invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.’ And he added, ‘These are true words that come from God..’” – Rev. 19:7-9

If Christ is the King of all kings and Lord of all lords, then that would make us His Queens one day when He returns, truly making us His Princesses in preparation here on earth! Yowza, that’s cool. Perfect white linen, escorted in to God’s Palace in heaven, accompanied by the very godly women, my bridesmaids, that have stood beside me and encouraged and shaped me into the prepared woman I will be that day, given away to the most perfect man to ever walk on earth that I have sought to live my life for, Christ, as my husband and King, delighted at the sight and knowledge of the beauty of me, His Queen. Perfection.

Women: Dream about this day. Spend time basking in the grace and honor that flows from this future day. Rejoice for the godly women that you know have already been united with Christ in heaven. Feel and KNOW that you are already clothed in the finest, most pure white linen even as you are living as a princess in preparation here on earth. Christ died and rose again so that he could come to life again victorious over sin and death so that He could look upon us as pure, saved, and blameless until we can unite and rule with him in heaven one day. Live in that freedom and grace and in that pure love. My prayer is that you would think to this future day and always know that you are precious, valuable, and extravagantly beautiful in the eyes of your royal husband, and that you would feel overwhelmed with the weight, purity, and value of that love. And if you haven’t already noticed from His night skies, the power in a thunder storm, sound of a mighty waterfall, peaceful serenade from birds in a quiet place, sight of horses running freely through a field, the sight of your handsome man after working hard and feeling strong and proud, or anything that makes your heart skip a beat . . .God has QUITE an eye of beauty. And he sees YOU as delightfully beautiful. Your beauty is woven into your very being as a piece of the heart of God and the beauty He cherishes and wants unleashed. Your breath-taking beauty is a declaration OF His glory and to be used as a vessel FOR His glory. I challenge you to live a life honoring Him for that gift, for He is your Lord.

Men: .If you’re single, seek after a woman who actively, avidly, and whole-heartedly (not perfectly) seeks after her King and first love, Christ, and a life that is honorable to Him. Pursue the woman that sets your heart on fire to become more of a man in the eyes of Christ, not in the eyes of the world. God knows how to romance you, too, guys, so don’t be tempted to seek after lesser beauties than the gold He may have right in front of you. If you’re taken or want to remain single, then praise the Lord when you find women like this, because you know they are first focused on making His Kingdom come. How encouraging! I challenge you to live a life boldly in strength, action, and courage led and inspired by your fantastically unique and wild heart, deeply rooted in the Word of God, for His glory. Live a life in appreciation and inspiration of womanly beauty while pursuing a life and role God has designed specifically for your individual masculine heart. We need you, men, even if you aren’t our own. Stay strong and keep your standards resting in the heavens.

5 Day Recap (July 11-July 15)

July 11, 2011

We drove in to town today to run some errands and stay at Pierre and Rentia’s for the night. Norma and I got to watch this horse trainer work with a majestic thoroughbred for about an hour this afternoon and it was fantastic. I figured out what I can do with the 4 free days a week I will have once I’m a nurse first year.. take horse lessons! As long as I can afford it and there is a location relatively near, I’m so in. I want to own my own horse too badly.

            Mason and I were able to use an internet café for about an hour while Norma sorted something out with her car. I was filled with joy and strength after reading a short, sweet little email from my boyfriend’s dad. I really was just so humbled by his message and encouragement. It must have been a day of great emails, because I also read one from my mother that just had me in smiles and tears and laughs of joy the whole way through in the middle of this café. People had to have thought I was crazy. Emotional American, that’s for sure. My mo mis a beautiful woman and the Lord is teaching her so much. I love seeing her child-like passion and joy and conscience. She is precious and I miss her very very much. Please keep taking great care of her, Jess! Be her love.

            When we got back to Pierre and Rentia’s, Mason and I were having a blast with music and jokes at the kitchen table. It fairly quickly turned in to name calling and fist fighting down the hall. I’m glad we could be honest about how we REALLY feel about eachother, haha. I’ve really been missing my brothers and the fun and fights we have, so I was very thankful for God filling in those gaps with that time with Mason. I loved every minute of it. I also got to chat with Conner on facebook for the first time since Johannesburg!!! That by far made my night.

July 12, 2011

Boring and long day in town running errands. Finally got back to the Matopos.

July 13, 2011 – Clinic Day #2

            Now for this beautiful day – Chris and Mason dropped me off at the clinic to help out again and today they were much nicer to me. I worked only in the screening room today and it was much less busy than last Wednesday. At tea, they tried to teach me some Ndebele but I have already forgotten all of it besides “Ilanga i chisa,” which means “the sun is hot.”

            In the screening room there were lots of mothers with babies (one woman was 64 years old!!!), a man with terrible acid reflux and cancer, and one woman with sore and swollen eyes. The man hadn’t eaten anything other than mealy meal pourage for 7 months because of an issue in his throat. He lifted his sleeve to show me how skinny he was and explained how difficult it is to walk because his bones have weakened immensely without having any nutrients. He could barely walk because he falls over so much and so easily from not having strength. It broke my heart. I helped the nurse to find out that the lady with sore eyes is probably allergic to smoke, and there were a few other small things the nurses asked my advice on and I had to try my best not to be careless or dumb.

July 14, 2011 – People’s Presence

            Today, Ruth and Brad (a British couple living in Bulawayo) and their friend Ben came out to the farm to spend the afternoon. We went on a walk and climbed rocks and traveled through brush and sat an talked about Bear Grylls and his absurd lifestyle on his show. It was good and fun to have fellowship like that and just enjoy the “togetherness presence” of the people around me. The land here at Morning star is spectacular.

July 15, 2011 – Clinic Day #3

            Chris and Norma left for Bulwayo today, so now Mason and I are lonely and bored. Norma gave me some little chores to work on, like wrapping the soaps she made in recycled paper so she can sell them and cleaning up the boys dorm for the 5 guests coming on Sunday. Mason and I will take this weekend to relax, recharge, and get ready to go all out these last 3 weeks.

            Once they left, Mason and I set up the solar panels and left for our days. He dropped me off at the clinic again because it is the only place, besides out by myself in the landscape, that inspires me and gets my mind and heart flowing. I can’t wait to be a nurse.

            I was there from 10:30-1:10. The nurses in the screening room switched 2 times today. The male nurse made me a little more hopeful because he was giving out different prescriptions and diagnoses . . . I don’t necessarily know if that is hopeful, though. Each day I go in, the conditions I see keep getting worse and worse. Today there was a baby with yellowy-white arms and hands from either jaundice or low circulation from the cold weather, and a penis that either looked cut off or inverted. I had never seen anything like that on a baby boy… I had also never thought about how good these nurses are or aren’t at circumcising them when they are born. There was a 22 year old guy who had previous complaints of discharge from his penis and now needed medicine for a urinary tract infection. A friend of ours brought in her son and he had an itchy rash all over his body and ulcers the size of a silver dollar on both of his legs. We also diagnosed “Early Stages of Pregnancy” for a 24 year old girl who was complaining of vomiting and headache for the last 3 weeks. I kind of found that funny. The last patient we saw was a 21 year old girl with dried blood all over her nose and swollen eyes. At a closer look, she had nasal and optic sores and ulcers that had been bleeding and pussing and making her face almost immobile due to the pain. After talking with her a little bit, we discovered that she was already being treated for HIV/AIDS so they were likely opportunistic infections from a weakened immune system. I had never seen that personally. My heart is now broken so much more for HIV/AIDS sufferers.

            Mason picked me up, we had an interesting few exchanges with some police officers about a flag, saw some Zebras, and came back to cook some dinner. Pumba slept with me last night so I missed my personal hot water bottle, Boomer, at home. I miss you puppy!! Momma, you better tell him I said I love him.

6 Day Update

July 10, 2011

            Today the Lord really showed me the importance and beauty of pursuing a relationship with Christ as opposed to just trying to live a life for him. Like really making it personal. I have found myself craving the Lord’s thoughts instead of always trying to control and monitor my own. . . I hope that makes sense. So that has been really cool starting that journey today. I love devoting specific time for the Lord every day because I always end up blessed and energized. I really hope I stay committed to making this quiet space for myself once I get home and go to school. I have started the “Bible Before Breakfast” routine since I have been here. I will wake up whenever I wake up, sit up, stretch, reach over and take my medicine then grab my Bible and Jesus Calling and maybe even journal, write a verse on my hand each morning, and get dressed and go on my way to the kitchen to get breakfast.

            I sewed my own Bible cover today with a hand-crank Singer sewing machine and it rocks. I get to sew things with Norma’s ladies on Wednesday so it was just a little refresher course. We will work on aprons and headbands and rugs I think.

            It drizzled rain almost the whole day, continued stronger during the night, and it sounded BEAUTIFUL on the roods of these huts and the sides of the walls. Rain is wonderful at night when you are inside – not when it is winter and you are outside. We delivered fabrics to a lady names Emily not too far from Morning Star and she was just such a joy! She was Ndebele and that was all she could speak and from the first moment she spoke to me, Diamond told me she was trying to teach me Ndebele. She was so very expressive with her face and body and she was such a character to watch and be around, even though I had no clue what she was saying most of the time. When we drove up to her hut, Norma asked Diamond what the rock pile was in front of our car and he said it was Emily’s husband’s grave. That was so so sad.

            I cleaned out a nasty cut on Mason’s thumb last night before bed and it was awesome. I love that stuff.

July 9, 2011 – Wonderful Discovery

            I was feeling totally sluggish today and my muscles were aching to get out and move so I went on a run not really knowing where I was going and about 25 minutes in to the run I ended up of the bottom of the Matobo Valley and I was instantly filled with so much energy and need for adventure so I went to the nearest mountain and climbed it, only to see the huge one that I have wanted Mason to hike up with me just one mountain over. I couldn’t resist. I made it down and over to the base of the big one and figured out the safest way to go up and decided to hold out since I was by myself, but I did go up on the smaller mountain just in front of it and when I stood on the top, my heart was overflowing with joy and gratitude and awe at the sky and the land and the air and feeling of being up there looking out. I needed that feeling of fulfillment and sight of such beauty so badly and for the sky to be as magnificent as it was for being such a rainy day, it was a great blessing. Only problem was getting lost on the way back.. I found a creek, found the creek again, got stabbed in thorn bush central all over my legs by the spear grass, found a boy (nickname Louie) who walked me almost all the way back to Morning Star, then watched the end of the Rugby finals. Those guys are HUGE.

July 8, 2011

            Today marks 1 month until Mason and I fly out of Johannesburg to come home. 31 days.

            The horses came back today for breakfast.

            Had a great conversation with Mason this afternoon.

            Finished 1 more book for Chris. 6 more to go.

            Freezing cold weather with some drizzly rain, but DAZZLING sunsets still.

            Great quiet time being completely honest with God and being blessed through my brokenness in return.

            Made muffins.

            Planned next week.

            Struggling with feeling like I am wasting time here – I really want to get back to the clinic and just spend time with the people here, even if it is only for the 3 minutes they are sitting in front of me. I would just love some more interaction because always doing behind-the-scenes work can feel a little unproductive and not influential.

July 7, 2011

            Today I felt sick all day long. It stunk. But, I as able to sit in on Norma’s sewing group today and I am so excited to get to help those ladies next Wednesday at their next gathering. I loved sitting and listening to them talk and interact and work on what they do best and trying to make a living for themselves and their families. It was lovely.

            Also, the horses escaped out of the paddock last night and Diamond and Mason were out in the truck looking for them for an hour and a half while Norma and I went on a walk to follow their tracks and see which direction they might have headed in. We also walked the paddock to see where they escaped and tied the fence back up with some rope. Silly horses. Tawny is to blame EASILY.

            Norma told me the schedule for the next few weeks and it is going to be jam-packed starting next week. Whoo! Mason and I are going to hold down the fort at the farm while Chris and Norma go and meet up with and bring back a couple coming in to town next weekend so we’re trying to figure out what we can occupy ourselves with for 3 days… probably explore all the rocks and mountains around and make jello for every meal.

July 6, 2011 – Clinic Day #1

            So today I got to help out in the med clinic near by any way I could for the first time. Patson biked me up the street from Matopo Primary to the clinic and introduced me to the nurses. There were 4 girls and 1 male and only 2 of the girls talked to me. The first female nurse that I shadowed was named Lindiwe, so thank you Father for the precious reminder of sweet Lindiwe in Mpeni from my first trip to Africa. God rest her precious soul. Opening my journal and always seeing her letter she wrote me on top made this evening’s journal entry even more special.

            I would love to be able to tell you about what went on in the clinic, but I just don’t think it would be wise for me to publicly write about it for security and governmental reasons. I don’t want to stir up any drama so please forgive me for that. It was quite an experience. But basically, I was able to do a lot of paper work and copy down lots of information to help the nurses out and they showed me around their facility. I really hope to go back there soon because I felt so at home in the medical world even though it nowhere even compared to American system. I can’t wait to be a nurse. I am so thankful for my experience and exposure.

July 5, 2011 – Mad Props

            Today was my first day in the schools and we went to Dobi. Mr. Nguenya led his environmental workshop with some teachers and I read the 3 books I had completed vocab cards and comprehension for. I worked with Grade 2 for 2.5 hours and MAN it was tiring. They were not very responsive at all and they did not act like it. They were not very responsive at all they did not know very much English. Or atleast they did not act like it. I tried to make up some games and interactive things I could get the kids to do and they LOVED that. I had them kicking their legs around and yelling “Yippie!” and jumping and everything and it all went along with the words I was teaching them. It was great.

            The Grade 7 group was much more responsive and active but I tried to help this one boy who did not know ANYTHING it seemed like. I just felt so much compassion for him because he was so quiet and had no idea what was going on and everyone was laughing at him and could understand almost everything I was saying. It was so sad. I could never be a fair teacher – I would always be so partial to the children that struggle. Teaching is tiring and requires energy and confidence and creativity, and ALL of those traits were immediately challenged in me.

confidence and creativity, and ALL of those traits were immediately challenged in me.

            Mason and I went up on Polar Bear tonight and star gazed and it was seriously majestic. God is the best decorator ever – shout out to sweet Miss Rachel Gregory.

8 Day Recap

July 4, 2011 – American Independence Day!!

            We’re about to eat our Fourth of July meal with Mason, Norma, Chris, Gordon, Angela, myself, Bianca, and the environmentalist guy (I don’t know how to spell his name). We have QUITE a table full of food. I seriously have been so blessed and so spoiled with a full meal every meal here – thank you, Father! We have some filet, hamburgers, sweet potato fries, sweet corn casserole, peas and carrots, spicy roasted potatoes, and jello. Unbelievable. Go America! I think they are making Mason and I sing the national anthem so that’ll be interesting.

            Tomorrow I finally get to go in to the schools and read with and teach the kids some English!! I am ecstatic. I have been working on these picture vocab cards and comprehension questions for these little storybooks for ages from pre-school to 6^th grade I’d say. While Chris and the environmentalist are doing their workshop at Dobi school, I will walk in to classes, ask to borrow the children, take them to a tree outside, sit, read, and teach. How wonderful!! I am excited to see what sort of passion the Lord sparks in my heart after tomorrow, because this summer sure has been FULL of the teaching theme. There was Heather who did a teacher’s workshop on literacy here at Morning Star, Chris wanting me to work on these books and cards to read and teach the children, a teachers group coming in from Atlanta serving around here for a little under 2 weeks, and who knows what else will come up. I have definitely gained a new appreciation and I am interested to see just how far that goes. Sorry it has been so long since I have posted on the blog!

July 3, 2011

- Today I finished picture vocab cards for a second book and chose next next 2 books I will try and complete tomorrow. 2 down, 7 to go.

- We planned our 4th of July meal and so far it is hamburgers, 2 or 3 flank steaks, my sweet potatoe fries, green beans, maybe mashed potatoes, and Norma's DELICIOUS orange jello with vanilla yogurt. We are also running a 10K up to Dennis and Sandy's and back to represent the infamous Peachtree Road Race. Oh, and everyone has to wear red, white, and blue and best they can. I wish we had fireworks! Happy 4th of July from Zimbabwe!!!

- I ran again today and this time I did MUCH better. I made it all the way down to the first creek (roughly 2.5 miles I think), then walked for 10 mins and ran the last (roughly) 2 miles back to Morning Star. Woohoo!!

- Nkosi helped us plan our return to S.A. where we could potentially save lots of dollars, so let's hope that works out! Lord, I pray for big things in these next 31 days, and I pray that I see extravagant blessings every single day.

- We're supposed to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to watch the sunrise with Nkosi tomorrow morning but I don't think that's going to actually happen.

- Unfortunately, Nkosi goes back to Bulawayo tomorrow, but Chris is picking up an environmentalist from Harare on the way back to the farm! He will be doing a workshop in the schools to help them conserve what they have on Tuesday and Wednesday.

July 2, 2011

- First day of running and it was rough

- Relaxing day with Nkosi, Mason and Heather just talking and sitting in the sun. Everyone needed to recharge before our big weeks this week. I was even able to fit in an hour and a half nap. Unbelievable.

- The newly installed solar geyser started working today so now everyone can have hot showers and Chris and Norma's water bill will be much less!

- Rode Tawny and Tallulah this morning and Tawny was FEISTY.

- Watched the Rugby game during dinner. New Zealand (Crusaders) beat S.A. (Stormers)

- Had a powerful conversation with Heather (one of the missionaries with us right now) about not living captive to my fears. She said we are only told to fear one thing and that is God. And we fear Him with trembling knees at His feet because HE is so righteous and pure and holy. She told me to do a fear study and just say, "Ok God, I have 5 weeks left at this place where I am isolated with You. I want you to heal these things in me and fill these fears with Your love." And to do something symbolic of leaving my fears behind me here and never going back to them. I feel challenged now.

- Listened to Nkosi tell us about the adversities YL faces here in Zim and we have a powerful time of prayer for him after dinner. Mason and I also learned a lot about the Ndebele culture.... simply fascinating.

July 1, 2011

- Went Dossie hunting but failed

- Found a chicken fetus in my cracked egg when I was making a cake

- Started my notecards wth comprehensio questions and vocab for the primary schools to use when we come and read to them

- Ate burritos for dinner

- Dreams about home that made me miss home a LOT

June 30, 2011 - Relaxation           

            Today I woke up not feeling well at all. I slept through my alarm by an hour and when I did wake up I had no appetite at all. I just sat there with my morning pills in hand and didn’t move at all for about 30 minutes and didn’t even realize it. I finally pushed myself to take my pills, read my Jesus Calling, and get dressed. When I went outside I saw Chris and he asked me about my symptoms and said a prayer for me. It was such a sweet prayer and exactly what I needed to hear. I told him I just needed to move, so he let Mason and I take his and Norma’s bike out for a ride. We meant to only go about 4 miles, but we ended up going 12K and it felt SO good to just have my blood flowing and really breathing the air.

When we got back, there wasn’t much to do. We took advantage of it because this next week is going to be busy and active. We read, talked, laughed, sat in the sun on Chris’s porch, prayed, and had some meditation time. It was so healthy and revitalizing for our minds and hearts. Chris also decided that he would start calling me “Fred” from now on because it is easier for him to remember and he won’t keep mixing my name up with Heather’s. He is now referred to as “Georgey.”

I am kind of glad that I am not fighting this whole womanly side of me coming out like I once would, because I think it shows a certain malleability I have right now with transformation and accepting the real me – the God-designed me. I am also thankful because it is bringing out a more gentle, servant-minded me that I don’t feel in touch with nearly often enough. My prayer is that the Lord would teach me how being a strong woman (from the inside out) can and should be used for the best work for His Kingdom. You made me, Father. Please help me take advantage of this freedom and little distraction to get in touch with the raw me and have YOU piece me back together little by little. I am yours.

At dinner, Heather and John told me about 3 medical missions agencies to look in to so that makes me really hopeful. Heather also said something very interesting. She said that in prayer for their decision on locations for missions, she had to make sure they made the decision inside God’s will rather than out of their own passions. Meaning, someone who just loves Africa can say, “Africa, here I come!!” so willingly, but that does not mean it is God’s will for them to be in Africa. Oh, we do that all the time, don’t we? Please show me where I stand. I praise you for this day.

June 29, 2011 – Bulawayo, Airport, Workshop

            Yesterday Norma, Mason and I went in to town to run errands and stock up on food. We had to restock our food for the orphan feedings and that took us to a scary part of downtown. Mason and Norma went in a while as I waited in the car to make sure no one tried to break in. We also went to a stock feed place where Norma bought horse feed. We went to Dennis’ and he got the internet to work on my computer so that was fantastic! We also got ice cream on our way out of town and it was alright. You could really taste their cream. Before the ice cream, we went out to Air Zimbabwe airport to collect my bag and Mason was taken back with my bag and asked many questions and I’m sure he did MUCH better than I ever would have. Thank you, Mason.

            Today was the first day of Heather Witherow’s literacy workshop with the teachers in the general area and it has been really humbling and neat to listen to how smart her thinking, speaking, and analyzing is in terms of teaching methods. There is no doubt that having 2 almost autistic sons has not helped her and blessed her abilities in some way. Praise the Lord. One of her 3 boys loves Andy Stanley and he gets up on some of the rocks and just recites his sermons word-for-word and it is just a hoot! Heather and her husband John are really net people with a real passion for following the Lord step.by.step. I’ve learned a lot just observing and listening to them. How cool. Missionaries from Oregon now living in South Africa.

            A few nights ago I ate guavas for the first time in my life and they were SPECTACULAR. Especially with vanilla yogurt. I seriously have a new obsession. And today I also made pudding for cake icing and mayonnaise for coleslaw for the teacher’s workshop. I hate mayonnaise so that was interesting to have to taste test . . . YUCKIE. I have to say, though, that I have really enjoyed being with the women and doing what these women do and just letting the boys be men.

June 28, 2011

            Today I learned that I no longer want to live to please everyone’s emotions because those always change. They are temporary and typically unpredictable. I want to live as a vessel worthy of helping the Lord move people’s hearts, because You are eternal. My biggest roadblock right now is pride and unforgiveness, so if you could please be praying for those to be broken down in me and replaced with humility and grace, I would greatly appreciate it. I want to stop living for myself and my own comfort and instead live as a declaration of the beauty of Your Son’s death. I pray for this land and for these people that You would mend it back together with Your right hand, and You would frustrate the plans of the wicked. And also prayers that Mason and I can learn how to be peacemakers with one another and become better and better supports and encouragements for one another.

            Thank you for reuniting me with my bag today and thank you that Mason left the interrogation at customs safely. Please sustain my body without my one prescription – You made my body so please help me with the upkeep J

June 27, 2011 – Step In Trust

“ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” – Psalm 143:8

“‘What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I promised you.’ . . .Then Jacob made this vow: ‘If God will indeed be with me and protect me on this journey, and if he will provide me with food and clothing, and if I return safely to my father’s home, then the Lord will certainly be my God. And this memorial pillar I have set up will become a place for worshipping God, and I will present to God a tenth of everything he gives me.’” – Genesis 28:15. 20-22

Mason and I just had a conversation about our personal schedules the last 3 days. He has been very busy at work with the guys and doing a fantastic, whole-hearted job all 3 days. Whereas, I have been able to go for a ride each morning, help cook and clean dishes a little bit, set up the solar panels so batteries can be charged, and work on some behind-the-scenes tasks for the teachers workshop tomorrow. Even though my schedule is different to my plan and Mason’s is exactly as planned, I am thankful for the help I could provide these past few days and I trust that all other plans will play out exactly as needed.

When I came in and read Jesus Calling I felt even more comforted because I do believe that as long as you are looking to Him in every moment, contemplating things of heaven and serving Him, then the Lord honors that and every moment will be fulfilled and full of life and joy. To me, there is no greater feeling than serving my heavenly Father with a humble heart. Then when I read the verses (my favorite part), I was even MORE excited for what the Lord has in store for me here! Coming on this trip I had a general idea of how I wanted to serve these people, but I knew everything was subject to change considering my location. So in a sense, I’m not really disappointed at all at the way these past 3 days have gone because I have been able to enjoy and experience the type of home life I have always wanted to live. I have been able to see how I react in different situations, my own level of humility, honesty, and selflessness amidst a new setting and environment, and what sort of things do and don’t grab my attention or reach out to my heart. So where I may not be personally serving Zimbabweans in the community yet, I have been learning extremely important things about myself that I must be in touch with and working on if I choose to live a life of missions and service under the name of Christ. I am now, as the verse says, trusting the Lord and looking to Him with each step of each day, trusting and knowing that I am covered in His grace and love.

And I just love the second verse because I would love to know that God promises to bring me back to Africa!! And He most certainly has provided me with more and better food than I prepared for, enough clothes to keep me warm until I can reunite with my own, Morning Star is SUCH a place of worship and service, and I feel the same way that He is protecting me each day. I have no fears or no doubts about my safety here. Love you, Lord!

June 26, 2011 – Hopping Off Horses

    So today I fell off a horse and I have a big cut on my stomach to prove it. It looks lovely. I went out for a ride with Norma to work the second 2 of her 4 horses (she had already worked them a bit in the ring) and I had the delight of riding atop Banner. Banner is an older horse who is quite a manipulative little boy and at the beginning of our ride he decided to give me a go to test my limits. Right after we got out of the gate, he took an immediate right (instead of straight forward on the path) into a dense section of dead brush and thorn trees and I managed to dodge the majority and turn him back on to the path. As soon as he was facing the right direction, he took the lead once more into the same patch of brush hoping for a more successful round of “stick the rider.” This time he won. He took me straight into a dead thorn prickly tree thing. I knew I was going down so I let go of the reigns, grabbed on to the big branches in front of me, squealed, and lowered myself to the ground once I lifted off of the saddle. You really have no idea how much I wish I had the fall on camera – it was absolutely hilarious. After that, I realized that boys must be boys and as long as they are, they will always mess with girls. But what Banner quickly realized was that even though boys can fight, girls can always fight back harder and longer. It was a joyous ride after I forcefully became a literal tree hugger. It’s only 11:00 a.m. here, so I still have a full day ahead of me (including making nametags for a group coming in on Wednesday), but that was a fantastic start.

    After the episode with the horse, Norma and I came back and tried to transfer my David Platt podcasts from my computer to hers via an external hard drive but it epically failed. We tried and tried for probably and hour and nothing worked.. Neither of our external HDs worked! But that’s alright because I just found out tonight that she has a flash drive and those don’t configure to specific programs like Mac or PC so we’ll try that tomorrow. Once that failed, Mason, Dennis and I tried to configure Norma’s internet modem to our computers but the same thing happened. Her modem is configured for a PC and not a Mac. Ugh. Mason and I climbed Polar Bear just to get the best service on the farm and it still failed. So if I can get the flash drive to work tomorrow and you see my blog actually updated, then you will know that it worked!!! I really hope so because I would love for ya’ll to see some pictures and have these updates. It’s actually really fun keeping up with the trip like I have. Let’s hope I feel the same way after day 20 instead of day 2.
    Last night Norma put me in charge of making icing for a cake she made and it turned out looking more like an ice skating rink on top of the cake instead of normal white, creamy cake icing, but it was definitely just as delicious. Tonight she put me in charge of the crepes and they turned out DEICIOUS! I also asked Mason to help me make my homemade whipped cream recipe and he did a really great job for not having an electric eggbeater! It was a wonderful dessert and everyone loved them. Go me! I’m learning how to cook! Simple and easy stuff, but cooking nonetheless. After dinner we laughed and talked all about different accents and road rage. Tomorrow we are making nametags and Mason is chillin’ with Chris and hopefully starting on the cement basketball court Chris and Norma are making as a community center for the primary school kids in Mtopo. The nametags are for a group of 28 local teachers coming from Wednesday to Thursday afternoon to go through some English comprehension workshops to better teach the children. I am excited to help Norma prepare for that, but even more excited to listen in and help the teachers out while they are here. The Lord really is doing some great and creative things here to equip people to more effectively help others. And it is really cool to see how involved and proactive Chris and Norma are to do the best they know how to do. I am really excited to see all I can get involved in and/or bring back to the states once this summer is over.
    P.S. Africans know how to creatively reuse leftovers better than I have ever experienced before . . . Mom, I am trying to watch and learn because we have been SERIOUSLY missing out by just sticking ours in the fridge.
    P.S.S. Mom, I really need your flank steak recipe please because we have already started planning our double day Fourth of July celebration. So far, the plan consists of a bar-be-que, a mock Peachtree Road Race, an American style breakfast (scrambled cheese eggs, biscuits, and I forgot what else), and red, white, and blue attire are required for both days (as well as your resources provide) – from the underwear out. Mom, please e-mail it to me because Chris REALLLLY wants me to make it. Thank you love you!!